1. Do not try and exert your seniority on every second fuccha you see:

Things may go downhill, if the fuccha actually turns out to be a third-year, who looks young, or an M.Tech first year, or in the worst case, a fourth-year. Hold your instincts, for they may land you with a black-eye and numerous bruises.

2. Do not be a smart-ass with the teachers:

We are talking about men who have been in the business for ages, who have had to deal with smart-asses like you every year. They have certain tricks up their sleeves, you are better off without having to experience them, trust me.

3. Do not stay locked up in your rooms / hostels:

Remember, your laptop is not your girlfriend. Some unlucky girl is. Go out, feel the wind, soak in the rain, lay down and look at the stars (ALONE!).

4. Do not buy a guitar to impress the ladies:

The effort to learn the guitar is not proportional to the accolades from the fairer-sex. Sooner or later, it will end up in your dust-bins. Do yourself a favour, don’t buy it.

5. Do not try to design an innovative new project, that will revolutionize the world:

Using a laptop charger as a toaster for a loaf of bread, and a ruler to spread butter does not count. Neither does keeping folded clothes beneath the bed-mattress as a means of ironing the clothes.
More often than not, your helicopters won’t fly, bots won’t move, and programs won’t run. Give it a try, though.

6. Do not become a ‘Devdas’:

Engineering course has a common pattern. First year is about Girls, New faces, Freshers’ Night, Fests etc etc. Second year is all about Love, broken hearts, the same old faces, frustration in life.  Third year onwards, it’s only career, jobs, interns, placement.
Long bearded looks, out of sheer frustration are a strict no!

7. Do not be an addict, don’t play with your life:

Yes, education may be injurious to health, but then so is smoking, drinking etc. Bike stunts, car drifts, all these have a certain appeal and thrill about them. Don’t get misguided by the world, value your life above social perceptions.

8. Do not try to sneak out or sneak into the lecture hall midway:

Mentos doesn’t help in real-life situations. If you do get caught leaving or entering the class, some more plausible explanations would be needed. Try these for best results: ‘I have a tendency of sleep-walking’ or ‘Just going out to take a fresh breath of air, Sir’, ‘Uh-oh, this is not where I parked my car’.

9. Do not become ‘that guy who attends classes even on mass bunk days’:

Believe me, you don’t want to attend a class if the whole class has agreed to go on a bunk. They will slaughter you, burn you alive and throw your body to dogs. No kidding. True Story, bro!

10. Do not try some fancy new hairstyle the hairdresser recommends:

After paying hundreds of bucks, you will end up looking like a villain from a Bhojpuri movie, not to mention the ridicule you will be subjected to by your worthless friends.

Disclaimer: Please, don’t try this at home! The author shall not be held responsible for your actions, lest they be inspired by one of these.

Kumar Prateek, TIF

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